in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
