I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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