I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
