I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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