I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize