You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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