At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
