She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize