So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there was a trapeze. enough said
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I could fuck to npr.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
