Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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