But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
