So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
