He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
