Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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