i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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