The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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