I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
