i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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