he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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