it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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