I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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