The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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