I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
