Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
