Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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