white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
