I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
