i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
