Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
