Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  youre lurking in front of me

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  (407): youre lurking in front of me http://tfl.nu/nxpl
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (750)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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  (206): Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too. http://tfl.nu/q39q
  Replies (9) Good night (1540) Bad night (526)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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  (636): Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know. http://tfl.nu/4r5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2859) Bad night (585)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.

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  (303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with. (720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids. http://tfl.nu/a779
  Replies (16) Good night (1088) Bad night (4321)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.

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  (816): I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding. http://tfl.nu/1j8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1286) Bad night (4803)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.

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  (505): i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to. http://tfl.nu/elff
  Replies (3) Good night (2606) Bad night (912)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.

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  (815): come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ur6c
  Replies (20) Good night (2081) Bad night (5466)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv

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  (440): I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv http://tfl.nu/sgj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1201) Bad night (2201)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

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  (720): i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out. http://tfl.nu/xm4r
  Replies (13) Good night (3748) Bad night (1266)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.

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  (402): Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun. http://tfl.nu/qwzs
  Replies (3) Good night (1524) Bad night (746)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?

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  (514): I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!? http://tfl.nu/cwiy
  Replies (16) Good night (909) Bad night (2182)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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  (630): I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead http://tfl.nu/lnf3
  Replies (8) Good night (2512) Bad night (468)
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  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (1021) Bad night (335)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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  (570): I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick http://tfl.nu/k83b
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (391)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.

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  (813): I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised. http://tfl.nu/qb0v
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (239)

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