Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!