Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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