Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

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  (250): I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman http://tfl.nu/ee4v
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?

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  (503): what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage? http://tfl.nu/3y3m
  Replies (35) Good night (733) Bad night (3393)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1220) Bad night (2848)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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  (616): I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one... http://tfl.nu/uf1v
  Replies (16) Good night (648) Bad night (5158)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...

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  (313): is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad... http://tfl.nu/md38
  Replies (26) Good night (570) Bad night (4266)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1111) Bad night (4465)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.

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  (732): I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn. http://tfl.nu/68i4
  Replies (3) Good night (2524) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  DRUNK CANOEING

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Please text me if you survive.

  (207): View more from Maine

  LAND HO BITCH

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  (207): DRUNK CANOEING (804): Please text me if you survive. (207): LAND HO BITCH http://tfl.nu/6y3l
  Replies (27) Good night (10218) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.

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  (714): She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse. http://tfl.nu/v3q7
  Replies (8) Good night (950) Bad night (2063)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...

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  (440): I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning... http://tfl.nu/pfq3
  Replies (14) Good night (1639) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1184) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.

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  (316): You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger. http://tfl.nu/ic08
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.

  (323): View more from California

  Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in

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  (323): The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god. (323): Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in http://tfl.nu/1gsf
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics

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  (774): Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics http://tfl.nu/x2gy
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  The apocalypse has arrived.

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  (320): For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment. (1-320): The apocalypse has arrived. http://tfl.nu/kypn
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (253)

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