Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.