in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.