Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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  (859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight. http://tfl.nu/5wwv
  Replies (46) Good night (7169) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...

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  (262): My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here... http://tfl.nu/iwch
  Replies (54) Good night (4557) Bad night (1884)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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  (530): He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/h0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (1210) Bad night (15912)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed

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  (973): his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed http://tfl.nu/wvyq
  Replies (59) Good night (13471) Bad night (2544)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.

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  (425): I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque. http://tfl.nu/62jx
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (3717)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

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  (516): you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito. http://tfl.nu/qluq
  Replies (8) Good night (3405) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.

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  (815): E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou. http://tfl.nu/m8k9
  Replies (10) Good night (1280) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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  (417): Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently. http://tfl.nu/jfkc
  Replies (11) Good night (2398) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

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  (913): My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits http://tfl.nu/sxpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1806) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took

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  (503): I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took http://tfl.nu/phka
  Replies (6) Good night (1558) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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  (314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life

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  (253): Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life http://tfl.nu/x3qe
  Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i mean i let him but still...

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  (757): So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet. (757): i mean i let him but still... http://tfl.nu/w6qm
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.

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  (318): Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27. http://tfl.nu/0qjv
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum

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  (941): she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum http://tfl.nu/up77
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (194)

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