and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.