She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.