Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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