im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree