so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.