im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence