no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
