I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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