I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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