and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
