the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
