bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
