Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
