he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
