i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize