I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
