But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
