if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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