we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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