There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
