I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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