he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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