I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
