I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
