his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
