Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
