he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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