so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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