So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
