when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
