i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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