I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
