I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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