he wants to bone in the snuggie
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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