He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
