K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
