i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
