it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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