Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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