i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
