Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
