Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She bit a glass in half.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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