can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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