I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
