he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
