Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize