why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
