How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
